Do you ever wear hats? I rarely do. For some reason, hats make me feel supremely awkward. When I wear them, I feel as if I have a beacon on my head that’s just asking for attention. It probably doesn’t help that I’m a blonde in Bangkok and already stand out enough as it is.
The problem with feeling uncomfortable in hats is that I’m missing out on an entire field of fashionable expression. For starters, hats can complete an outfit; suddenly something simple can look chic. Take Rachel Zoe, she’s always in a hat and she is basically my fashion hero.
It’s not only an air of Rachel Zoe perfection that can be portrayed through a hat. If you think about it, there’s an entire assortment of personas you can portray by putting something on your head.
With that being said, I have derived a list of various hats and defined what they can say about you. Therefore, next time you wake up in the morning and decide you want to accessorize your head, you can use this list to make sure you are not portraying any traits that point towards Justin Bieber.
When it comes time to decide whether or not “to hat”, here’s what you need to know before you put it on:
Panama hats: For the highly educated and sophisticated woman. She is about to embark on a journey where she will not associate with the typical riff-raff. Instead, she will visit only the most cultured of places wearing traditional black trousers and collared shirts. In the most extreme situation, she is lives in a colonial style home somewhere in South Africa.
Fedoras: A woman who feels more comfortable around men. She can probably repeat Justin Timberlake’s best dance moves. To many people, she may seem rather “douchy” (for lack of a better word). Regardless, her clothes are the ultimate cool; skinny jeans and sneakers are her go to ensemble.
Floppy sunhats: The woman who bought Beyonce’s latest album within three days of the launch will also own a sunhat. She will likely have a somewhat diva attitude and describe her wardrobe using the word “fierce”. Whether or not she has money, she will always appear like a celeb-in-disguise with her wide brim hat and oversized sunglasses.
Ball caps: This can be 1 of 2 types of women. She is either a total girl next door who wears a cap while watching the game with the boys. Or, she could be a totally trendy fashionista wearing a minimalist leather ball cap. I’ll let you decide which one you portray.
Snapbacks: These hats are reserved for the cool women in the city. With various graphic monograms or bold lettering on the front, they probably wear them while taking selfies and smoking a joint. You know those wedge heel sneakers you see around town? This woman will probably be wearing them.
Bowler Hats: The bowler hat woman will most likely be found in a coffee shop selling only organic coffee from stainless steel reusable mugs. She will talk about highly cultured subjects and judge all consumerist attitudes as hipsters usually do.
Berets: Well, I’m not sure what to say here aside from stereotypical image you all have in your head right now. This woman will be eating a Pain au Chocolat in France. She will probably be wearing black flats and have one of those “french wardrobes” with classic pieces of only the highest quality.
Beanies: You will likely find the Beanie adorned woman hitting the slopes in her North Face jacket. She will make sure her hair is styled just right, to allow the beanie to be worn with the upmost perfection. She probably has nice abs.
Visors: For the woman who is always up to date on her fitness fashion. She finds herself frequently at the park, working on her cardio. All the while, she will be looking super fine. The visor will keep the sun from her eyes but still allow her bouncy blonde ponytail to distract passers-by.
Cowboy Hats: It doesn’t even need explaining.
Now, given that I’m wearing a Panama hat in these photos, I really don’t feel like I’m as sophisticated looking as my explanation describes. I guess I’m a bit of an anomaly, I just can’t pull of a hat (or close my mouth, it’s open in every picture).
Backpack: Custom made in Mozambique – Sunglasses: Celine – Watch: TW Steel
Hat: Panama courtesy of my sister – Skirt: Forever 21 – Top: H&M
Photos by Kate Balk